All pent up inside

Uptight is how i feel right now. Maybe it's just a small thing blown out of proportion by hormones, i don't know. But i dread going there, to face the immature and selfish demeanor. I hate it. Yet i can't seem to run from it.

Looking in a cliques among groups, to feel alone while amongst people you know. Where do I go from here?
Wanting to move forward to the other side of the wall, only to fall right into the wide gushing river just before the line.
Masks are worn, smiles are shown
I can see through the invisible barrier that's being put up.
I've seen it being done to someone else.

Immature, is what it is.
I've seen it in actions and words.
I've seen it in the ways that was thought to be subtle.
I've seen through it.

I'm tired and worned out.
I don't have the drive i used to because of this, and i hate that this is how i feel.
Maybe it's me, but i wont take the blame for it.

***
Like yin and yang, after feeling what i felt, i saw my previous lecturer and the conversation i had with him left me in a much happier mood.

"I'm going to Petronas for my internship sir!"
"Oh, that's good! I actually told penny to send you to a good company. She didn't know which SL so i asked her to go find out. Heh. Because i see alot of potential in you."
"Oooh, thank you sir! *kembang*"

After which he told me to look out for one of his previous student from KDU who is working in the PR dept of Petronas. Reza... something. Lol. sorry sir!

I felt so much better after that, i went back to my normal self and convince myself of the same thing i have bene convincing myself for the past year. Tolerance, and i'll rise above whatever it is benefit from it myself.

The faith one has in you can do wonders for your self esteem. :)