fuck it

I'm submerged in so many emotions right now that i just feel like crawling into a black hole and lay there indefinitely.

Can't pinpoint the exact source for this emotion outburst, could be estrogen, could be LDR, could be the stress of planning my grandma's bday bash, and everything else.

I think i am not adjusting well to LDR. :(

I am a very private person by nature as most of my friends will know and it takes a long looonnng time before i open myself up to people. And i am quite insecure relationship wise, which stems from the hurt and betrayal that i've gone thru in my past relationships.

These are the things i'm working on, building up and maintaining my trust for trusting people. It's tough. But i've not given up on trusting.

Don't misunderstand me, i DO trust simon. After four years, i know what type of person he is, and i know what he believes in. And i know clearly how he feels about me and our future.

So what's the problem? I don't know. Me i guess. I'm a needy bitch that needs attention 24/7. I told simon once early on in our relationship that he's smothering me with too much attention that i can't breathe. And now, all i want is that exact attention. Sigh

Combined with the last minute stress of everything else and my lady moment, you get a very depressed, emotional me.

And all i want is just a simple thing.