::Life's Little Mystery::

life requires lots of love, and loving brings life

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Happy Birthday Reenie darling!! *muaks!* =)

Surfed the friendster and checked out other people's pictures as i was rather bored today. Was looking at this particular girl's friendster, and this girl happens to be my boy's ex lovergirl, mind you. Looking at her pictures gave me a weird feeling, jealousy i guess. All sorts of crazy thoughts soon clouded my mind and filled my insecure self with doubts. It made me think, she's this attractive girl whom he sees in college everyday, and i am this worn-out old hag who gets on his nerve often enough with all these. I know i don't have anything to worry about as my baby is the greatest boyfriend a girl could ever have and i know that he would never cheat on me. *touches wood* he better not! But even so, i am still afraid that history will repeat itself. I've been hurt too many times in the past, it is just so hard for me to drop all my doubts no matter how many times i assure myself. This hurts him, as he thinks that i do not trust him. I do, it is just that, i don't know, it is just me and my insecurities. I always have this silly thinking that he will somehow, oneday or another leave me and go back to that girl or simply just fall for her again. How do i make this crazy thinking of mine go away? I seriously am going crazy.

My health has been deteoriating. Been having a really bad sore throat for a week and the dizzy spell keeps hitting me. It's bad enough with the sore throat as i cant eat alot of food which i really love and crave like chocolates, chips and so on. sniff* sniff*.. I can just sit put at the dining table eating away happily and just feeling dizzy all of a sudden. Plus, my sinus has been really terrible too. I can feel the pressure in my nose, and sometimes, the pressure's so big till my nose hurts and that usually brings about a splitting headache. Can't imagine what is wrong with me, don't know what's my problem. The price to pay when you're getting older. =p

This whole entry has been filled with my whinings. Hope that you won't get tired of me after reading this.
Cheerios!