It doesn't matter

All my life, i have always been perceived by my family as the naughty daughter, the one not as intelligent as the others, the rebellious one, the one they wished were more like the other members of my family. Extended and immediate. Though they don't say it, but their bias attitude shows through their actions towards me. Which contributes to the 'Middle Child Syndrome'.

At times, i feel as though i am incompetent and worthless to people compared to others. My life and views don't matter just as long as i live by their rules and play by their games. Life really is too short to be restrained. In a blink of an eye, you'll wake up and realise what happened to all those years that had passed right under your nose without your notice. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to live my life through your eyes, i want to live my life through mine.

So please forgive me if i rebel at times. Forgive me if i have disappointed you for it was never my intention to do so. Forgive me if i don't produce results better than the rest as a daughter, student, or as a person in your eyes. Forgive me if i have failed as the perfect daughter.

But do believe me, that i have always tried my best to be the best i can be. I have always done all i can do to try and fulfil whatever dreams you have of me. Although i am not good enough, i know, but please believe me when i say, i have always tried my best.

I love you.