Dark musings

I found this piece which i've written a few months ago in my comp. However, it is not about me nor anyone i know, i think. It is just some creative penning i do when i'm thinking alot.

~*~
In the midst of the darkness
Sorrow fills the empty spaces
Not knowing how or why
All emotions have run dry

Thank you he muttered
For the things she have done
She cried silently
As the secret in her grows a tonne

Why the sorrow and the pain
He looked at the spot where she'd lain
Sobbing tears for the impossible future
More so for the hidden secret torture

I'm sorry was what she last said
He thought back now and knew she'd paid
Although not in the way he expected nor wanted
This is life, as was granted.

Meaning of Love and Marriage

What a coincidence, after a nice mamak session with the girls, i came home and found this posted by one of my coursemate in the friendster bulletin. So apt for one of our talk.. ;)

******

"What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the padi field and choose the biggest padi and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, went through the first row and saw one big padi, but he wonders....there may be a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but there may be an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the padi field, he started to realise that the padi is not as big as the previous ones he saw, he knew he had missed the biggest one, and he regretted it. So, he went back to the teacher empty handed.

The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but later you'll realise that you have already missed the person...."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reached the middle of the field, he picked one medium sized corn that he feel satisfied with, and went back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you brought back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe that this is the best one you can get.... this is marriage."

Sometimes we think love lies in the right person we find, but love actually makes the person we find, the right person. Take time to love and enjoy every moment together.

******
Obviously, this does not apply to everybody. But however, i do believe that there isn't a 'right' person for anyone. Because with time and understanding, you can fall in love with just about anyone. It takes time to build a strong bond, and those love at first sight things are all just infatuations and lusts. hehe. It is how you turn those infatuations and lusts into something more meaningful and worthy that truly matters in relationships.

In the end, you choose who you want to love.

Happy Hols!

My one week holiday is more or less over..!

As usual, it wasn't spent productively, however, it also wasn't spent mindlessly money-senselessly (lol) . Apart from the Loreal make up remover which can be bought here, i didn't buy anything from Singapore. Yay for me.

The same amount of $$ came out from my wallet back to my dad as it did when he gave me. *please clap for me* thank you. I really practised my self control over there, although i did see sooooo many pretty dresses, those that i don't think can be found here.

Nevermind, i've got to control and swallow the itch of shopping so that i can have more dough for end of this year! ;)

~ i know there was alot of things i wanted to pen down, but i can't seem to recall them now.
Oh yea, i really wanna take up ballet lessons again. Learning up till grade 8 and stopping just there seems so wasted. But most of all, it's the company and the teacher that i miss. Also, i used to have nice firm abs during my 10 years of ballet and 3 years of gimrama, now all i get are flabby fats and a portruding tummy. Damn emo. :(

So my plan is to find a ballet place somewhere in ss2 and continue from grade 8 or lower, whatever. I don't wanna take exams, i just want to learn it as a form of hobby and exercise.

I tried doing some of my ballet moves last night and surprisingly, i've still got it! heheh. Any recommendation of ballet places in ss2??

Another thing i wanna take up again is the ability to read and write in chinese. I was talking to simon the other day, and we both agreed that this skill would be so much of an advantage to us in the future. Him, because his dad has businesses in China, and me - well, i was rejected from a PR consultancy for internship because i cant read and write well in chinese, so i'm feeling a bit pained and rejected. And also kiasu la. Heh!

saturday's couch potato

I spent the whole of Saturday afternoon from 2pm to 7pm, watching America's Next Top Model reruns, all alone.

Oh what fun.

I did what any bored girl at home alone would do... try on my mom's and my own dresses. And after that, i channeled the little girl in me and moved on to playing with my mom's lipsticks. Hehe.. I felt so much like a child again, the sereneness of the moment of not worrying about anything but only the taste of the lipstick poisonning me.

If only that feeling could last much longer than it did, then I wouldn't feel the way i do now. :(

Dancing with Fire

It's the end of week two and we've got to buckle up for the assignments. I foresee my blood level to gradually move up as the weeks go by. Nobody is doing anything! And one group member acts as though i'm the only one in her group. Right now, it's only me and her out of the group of 5 going through articles and doing something about it. They don't call this group work so that you can skip around bangsar for fucks you know.

/maintain.

I find it somewhat hilarious when i read those statements, because i can relate to it, and i can remember feeling like that, not too long ago. But it'll all get better as we mature day by day, and become wiser. For now, there's still alot of learning and maturing to do.

.. it ain't that easy to care for so many people.

Ever looked at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background?
It makes you wonder, how many strangers have pictures of you
How many moments of other people's lives have we been in.
Were we a part of someone's life when their dreams came through,
or were we there when their dreams died.
Did we keep trying to get in, as if some how we were destined to be there,
or did the shot take us by surprise.
Just think,
You can be a big part of someone else's life,
And not even know it.

~OTH season 4 episode 3

No more shopping!

Yay! Those brand new tops i bought online are here!! And the best part is, it fits just as i like my shirts to fit me, not too tight with still a little space to move around. :) Although the materials of the shirts are a little thinner than expected, but all's good! Heh..

I was just wondering when would the tops arrive, when i heard the familiar horn of the postman. Now, all i'm waiting is for my period to arrive. :( Screwed up cycle, now i can't even make out if it will coincide with my trips. I really hope not though.

Yesterday while accompanying reen to Plaza Damas (i've been going there pretty often lately. -_-) to collect her stuff, i bought yet another clothing. This time a soft casual pants which feels oh so comfortable to wear. I've really got to stop spending so much money on clothes this month! It's crazy, i'm trying to list down what i bought in 3 weeks and the amount of $$ spent scared me. And i'm not even earning my own moolah yet. :(

Results are out. I did okay, not as well as my first year but still alright. My CGPA dropped 0.1 to 3.79 and am not on the president's list anymore. Have been demoted to dean's. Hahah

And since my blog has been void of intersting pictures lately, here's one for the road.
Simon's nephew, Aiden and us. ;)

All meetings end in partings
That which rises must fall
That which is collected will be dispersed
Birth ends with death

~Ven. Dr K Sri Dhammananda

It all starts again

Everybody's got their own set of problems. Problems that look so big in their own eyes, but little in the eyes of others. Shits that makes no sense to others, only to themselves. It's difficult because others would not get what each other goes through, because feelings and the capabilities for problem solving varies from one to the other. So how in fact do we help one another?

Tolerance. By giving people their own space to do their own personal things,whilst still being there to support and care. These actions should be reciprocated because no one is free from problems - Everyone's got their own set of problems. What will never help is taking it out on others. What do the people around us do to deserve such unnecessary lashing/bitchiness etc? Talk about it, yes; Cry about it, yes; Decide on what you're going to do, hell Yes!

Bottom line is, you've got problems, i've got problems, the bus uncle's got his own problems, that bitchy canteen lady's got her problems, we've all got problems of our own! It's the way we survive through our different sets of problems alone/together in a comfortable and progressive manner that will get us through it. In a way that allows everyone around us to benefit from what we've learned through it and not turn people against us in the process. That is the best way of solving it. Tolerance and that.

***
This post is a quite out of the way from what i initially wanted to write (the weather, my class schedule and pms emo stuff), but diverted to this which i've been thinking about for quite some time now.

Back to my initial plan, heheh ;p, i have 8am classes from Monday to Friday! Boo! With the exception of Wednesdays as an off day, apart from that, i have a 7 hr break on Tuesdays. Boo!
Sigh, only 7 weeks suelynn, tolerance...tolerance..

The HongKong trip is pretty much confirmed, from 17th December till 22nd December and we'll be visiting Macau on the last day and Shenzhen on the day the boys go off for their airsoft game. :) It'll be fun!

Going for BlueSkies Holidays

After lamenting about wanting to go for a holiday, i will indeed be going in December..to HongKong! I will be going with simon, his cousin and his sister, and it will be my first time holidaying out of the country without my family. Lol. Now all we need is the confirmation on the airtickets/package then we're good to go.

Not only that, i will also be escaping the Raya celebrations by heading down south to Spore with my family. Seafood in Johor and shopping across the causeway! :) Holidays from now till year end includes to- Singapore, Genting, Somewhere by the beach, HongKong, Frasers. Happynya.

~*~

Classes will be starting on Monday. In other words, three weeks of bumming flew by just like that and it's back to puny Utar next week. Cepatnya. Gotta tune back my body clock to the normal time again.