::Life's Little Mystery::

life requires lots of love, and loving brings life

Monday, March 31, 2008

Do you feel the breeze everyday?

Have you ever notice yourself going about your daily chores on autopilot? Getting into your car and the next time you realised, you're already in the middle of the highway? Or sitting down at the dining table and the next thing you know, your plate is half empty?

I have.

Loads of times.

This is probably normal for everyone, but it just goes to show how many moments in life we have missed, just because we were too caught up with something on our minds thus our routined actions take over? It's like the show 'Click'. Where the guy fast forwards his life and in doing so, he just goes about his days like a robot, or going through the motions. Looking but not seeing; hearing but not listening.

When this happens, most often that not, this autopilot moments takes away quality time with people dear to us. You are supposed to have fun and bonding-topics talks over hearty meals with your loved ones, but when u space out..

So many moments are missed because of this. I know i have miss happy conversations between my family and friends just because something is clouding up my mind.

These thoughts are going nowhere. Lol. I guess, what i'm getting at is to always be mindful of what you're doing. Put your mind to the things you're doing at that moment, and not at somewhere else so you'll be able to enjoy it fully.

This is definitely something i have to constantly remind myself.


Friday, March 21, 2008

Be gone with the biggest one

After all the months of preparing for my FYP, doing research, drafting out the chapters, constructing my questionnaires, analysing all 240 questionnaires, putting the additional pages, compiling everything into one.....


This is my first ever time completing an assignment or rather a project that consists of 60 pages not inclusive of references and appendix. I'm so proud of myself. And... i manage to stay within limit with only 9151 words. WOOT!

I hope it's enough and there's nothing major to be changed for my final draft.

I feel like i've just taken my first deep breaths now after a long time! So happy.. hehe


Hmm, i realised that there hasn't been any pictures lately hor.. okla, post up some recent pictures i took during JW's bday at Social Bangsar. To quote the bf, 'we bersosialed in social'. Damn lame. haha

Me, June and the birthday girl

my babe!

with mingyang trying to squeeze into the picture

tammykoofuyoo! hehe

Hehe, i bet you know what's coming next.. :p

ME! :D

Have a nice weekend y'all! :)

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

and i go through my days with smoke coming out of my ears

It's been a busy busy week! And 'busy' hasn't passed yet. :( I have 2 group assignments and 1 individual final year project due this week; 1 presentation on monday, and another group assignment due next friday.

I'm not so worried about my group assignments, my groupmates of 3 years boleh punya! And also because of the extended dateline after we had almost finish our parts. It's the FYP that i'm worried. Our word limit for this whole research project is 8,000 - 10,000 words. It may look alot, but in actual fact, i feel it is just enough. I am still in my chapter four - analysis and i've already written 6k plus of words. Not forgetting that i still need to add more information to chap 1 - 3, and do my chap 5- conclusion and recommendation. Trying hard to limit my words while including all necessary information at the same time. HARD!

My moods been very fiery this few days. I'm pissed at so many things... but mostly im pissed at people being so dependant on me. I feel suffocated. It's not wrong for some to depend on me, but i just feel so frustrated. I can't explain why really.

I guess i just want to be treated as a little girl rather than an adult. :( In denial.

And that stupid uni hasn't replied me!!! It's been 3 days! :( i know i know... so short a time, give it more time.. but the dateline has already passed! Even if you don't want to consider giving me that leeway of applying at least reply me and tell me right anot? Where got ppl who talk about having all those education and integrity dunno this simple thing of courteousness? Where's your courtesy la?? PX go educate them!


Three whole days, and i'm still at my analysis part of my FYP. If there's any award that i should win, it's the procrastinating award. I convinced myself that i will have time to finish it by thursday, so i waste my time before that by surfing websites, watching videos, tv..


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Friday, March 14, 2008

read me the story of all

So i've been in a dilemma for quite a while now- to work or to further my studies? The choice has been bugging me ever since the start of the year. I'm not sure as to which is more suitable for me, coz right now, i really do feel that both suits me best. But for the wrong reasons.

What i meant by wrong reasons is, either choice i make, study or work, will be made for reasons that are not quite appropriate. To work- i'll have more financial independance. SHOPPING! but less free time. Making my transition (move to spore) an abrupt one with little time to give in to homesickness. To study- Better future, more spare time, can come home often, chill often, but less money. The starting pay for a degree holder in Sg is SD2k plus. And the starting pay for a masters degree holder is SD3k plus. I know, what do i still have to think rite? heh

Actually, i've made a decision. As the Masters degree at the uni i wanna apply to starts in Aug i think i will try to see if i can make it for that intake, and if i can get in. But the setback is that the dateline for the submission of application is at March 6. So, yeah. I'm like one week late. And one of the requirements is to provide my degree certificate which i have yet to have coz i've not graduated and my convo will most probably only be in August. I think. So how?

My decision is that, i will email the uni and enquire to see if i am eligible even with my undergrad status and the way overdue submission. If i am, i'll be a post grad student in Aug. If i'm not, i gotta find a job...

I consulted my uncle who deals with tarot cards with this question. And the cards told me going to work will only be a game for me. It's like something that i'm doing for fun. (eek) So i should better go back to studying. LOL!

My parents especially my dad has always been pro-further studies. He even cut out a newspaper article advertising the Masters programme in that uni last year!

I was telling simon last night, i feel like my life after my degree is a blank. I have no idea what i want to do and i have no idea what's in store for me.

Any suggestions or advice ppl?

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Friday, March 07, 2008

Churned out another verbal vomit

You know, it's so funny how i manage to come out with a whole book in my head about my going ons but yet never seem to pen it down in my blog. As usual..

My parents are leaving tomorrow. Well, mom will be coming back after a week and dad, after 3 weeks. I still am not sure how i'm taking it. It's weird how at this age, it should be the children that are leaving home and not the parents, and the parents are the one sends the kids off to the airport and not the other way around. I am still trying to grasp with the idea of living most of the time without my father around.

I know i've expressed what i felt in my previous posts, but still.. i'm just so lost for words. I think my dad is also quite reluctant to leave the comforts of home (even if it's for a more luxurious home and service there), as i can see it in his flustered actions, his constant, "if mama needs to go somewhere, u fetch her ok" or "u must remember to check (car, locks, etc)" or "if u need more money.."

The date of their departure coincides with the country's fate. But i'm not gonna talk about that la.. fuck it. We as the people of the nation (but not special ones) have been screwed over again and again by them. So fuck you. That's all i can say.

My igemz group seem to have been laying low lately. And i miss them. Singing/performing with them have always boosted my days, and i have to miss out on the upcoming performance in Malacca coz it coincides with my exams. Always! Which i'm so bummed about!

My girly session with my girls are very much missed too. I know we're all busy with our current going ons, work, school, etc, no malice here for this. Just my general statement that i hope you're all well and happy and see you soon. :) hehe.. it's not a pressure statement.

Oh, before i forget this, i met up with my PR external examiner, Mr Grunig from the states. He's the one who wrote our text books, the one who came up with models that we're learning and applying in practice, the one who has done various researches in the field of pr. I am so fortunate that the uni picked me to be one of the 12 students to have a meeting with him. Tho i didn't learn much coz i didn't attend his lecture in the afternoon, but to meet someone who wrote your textbooks and someone who have been awarded so many accolades in communication that u just space out after reading his lists of accolades because it's so long. Maybe i'm being jakun for this la.. but who cares! Not everyday u meet someone like that, someone who has been a known figure (internationally) in your field of study.

And, i've realised that dah lama this blog has been filled with words and only words. No pictures. But sorry le.. I haven't been out socializing much (like a hermit only) so, might have to bear with my words for a while. Unless you want to see my chinese new year pictures where you can see me stuffing my face and collecting angpaus!? hehe, i dont think so right. ;)

My head has been pounding since the last few days.. and i've been feeling queer.
Am i............... assignmo-phobic? After 3 years.. tsk tsk.

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