::Life's Little Mystery::

life requires lots of love, and loving brings life

Tuesday, June 28, 2005


And how we laughed and how we smiled
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and make it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ran so fast, we ran so free
I have you, and you have me
Please remember, please remember

I've been feeling sort of depressed/stressed out. Can't really put my finger on any one particular issue. Maybe it's just pms. Maybe it's a million other things that comes together once in a while to bite me.

Argh, fuck it.

Saturday, June 25, 2005


I am super stuffed from the japanese buffet dinner i had with simon and his family. But somehow, i still very much prefer Saisaki than Mo-mo, as they have more varieties. Nonetheless, regardless of whichever one i go to, i still come home as full as ever. So it doesn't matter anyway. ;)

On the night before last, i had the weirdest dream. One part of my dream, i became invisible and everyone in the world, adults and little children were after me. Even though i was invisible, they could still see or sense me or whatever, and would fire shots at me wanting to hurt me/kill me. But I was strong in the dream, so strong that i didn't even feel a thing when i got shot on the arm, and while bending a window grill. I was running and running, trying to get away as far as possible.

Out of curiousity, is there an explanation for it? Could my sub-conscience be telling me something about me?

Last night, i watch The Final Cut starring Robin Williams with simon. Initially, we were choosing between that show and Ghost Train, but i wanted to watch something of an intellectual thriller like The Jacket, and that show with Julianne Moore, and thinking TFC would be something like them. Well, the movie was like neither. It's about some Zoe implants that is implanted on a person's brain, recording every single thing from that person's eyes since the day they were born. And when the person dies, the implants will be taken out and be shown as a rememory of them, some what like a show through their eyes during their memorial. I thought this implant was interesting, i wouldn't mind watching someone's rememory, and see everything they did through their eyes. :)

So the storyline of the movie moved along.. things happen, someone(don't know his name) wants to have the implants of the chairperson of the zoe implant company, and decides to steal it, bla bla. Somehow, the implants got destroyed and the only person who can retrieve it is Robin Williams, as he found out he has the zoe implants too, so, that someone goes after him. Bla bla..
But the ending!! Omg, can someone please explain the ending to me?? I totally dislike movies that leaves you hanging. Come on, movies are supposed to be for relaxation and for you to have a good time. Instead, these hollywood people decides to make that moment miserable by coming up with that kind of ending. It's artistic or smart, whatever. I want a satisfying ending! One that doesn't leave you puzzled with question marks floating above your head.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

one bite, two bites...stupid mozzies.

Mosquitoes have been having parties in my room for the past weeks, maybe months. They are flying everywhere, as if teasing me to kill them. No, they want me to kill them. Every night before i go to bed, i would spend about 15 minutes to half an hour, making sure i kill every single one of them. It has become a ritual for me. I switch off my lights and leave only my table lamp on, so with the directed light, it is easier to target them. I don't know if it's the bloods they suck or they're growing brains, it's getting harder and harder to get them. Ish. Die you!

On another note, i really need to start revising everything that i have learnt in Uni so far. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes i have done in studies for the past 10 years. That is if, i have enough discipline to do so, and not procrastinate in the end. If not, there goes my aim of a first-class honours degree. Lol. I have to, i have to, i have to get disciplined!

Oh help me.

I went for my second yoga class today. I must say, after 3 years of no ballet, it feels really good to be able to stretch and bend like i used to. I miss my ballet lessons. Most of all, i miss my ballet teacher, and my balletmates. I could recall vividly how we would use to stop in the middle of lessons and just sit around and talk to each other. We would talk about everything. From my teacher's family lives to our teenage dramas, it never fails to amaze me, how all of us from different backgrounds and of different age, could come together and mix so perfectly. Sometimes before i fall asleep, i'd think back about those times and get all nostalgic about it. I would love very much to dance ballet with them again.

Monday, June 20, 2005


Earlier in the eve, I was checking my blog and chanced upon a comment posted by someone who was cowardly enough to stay anonymous. Read the comments on the post entitled 'English 101'. And have a good time.

Scums like this, criticize others in an attempt to belittle them, to make themselves feel superior. I truly sympathize with them. They have no other way to make themselves feel better than to bring others down with them. My oh my. The world would be so much a happier place if not for sour grapes like them, trying to paint the world with their bitterness.


I'm suppose to write about the future of Rewritable Optical Storage for my IT assignment, but then i realised that the articles that i found are only relevent for the present times. Now, i have to start my research all over again. Funny how you think it is the easiest topic, when the actual fact is, it's the hardest? Way to go.

The Aussie girls, Yeing and Ann are back. It's been months since we've all been in the same place and at the same time. Ahh.. We can now take a proper up-to-date group picture. ;)

Sunday, June 19, 2005

typical sunday

I stole found this from yookie hwa's blog.

Your Birthdate: November 25
Your birth on the 25th day of the month (7 energy) modifies your life path by giving you some special interest in technical, scientific, or other complex and often hard to understand subjects.
You may become something of a perfectionist and a stickler for details.
Your thinking is logical and intuitive, rational and responsible.

Your feelings may run deep, but you are not very likely to let them show.
This birthday makes you a more private person, more introspective and perhaps more inflexible.
In friendships you are very cautious and reserved.
You are probably inventive, and given to unique approaches and solutions.

True? You be the judge. :)

The weather is killing me. I feel so fucking hot, i'm melting. Argh.
Was supposed to meet simon up for lunch and do a lil shopping, but i couldn't get out of the house due to the guilty voice in my head nagging me to finish up my assignments. So, i decided to sleep a little before starting on my work, but ended up feeling all frustrated from the heat.


At least now, with the aircon and fan blasting at the same speed, i don't feel as frustrated as i was. So, i'm going to kick back and cool down with Shanghai Baby. Heck my assignments.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Happy Bday Lilian! :)

Happy 19th Birthday my dear Lilian!
May this year be more exciting/succesful/fruitful/luckier than the last!
Love ya babe! :) muahhs!


I met up with Jenny boy last night. And after so long of not having seen him, my oh my, how much he has grown, physically and mentally. He is no longer that cheeky boy who always has mischieves up his sleeves and provides nothing but havocs. He has stopped all his shits, like smoking and so on, thus has put on weight, making him look so much healthier and better looking. Maturity has caught up with him too, he's talking about not wanting his parents to spend so much money on him, finding a part-time job to help lighten his parents financial burden when he's in Aus and so on. I'm happy for him. For i've known him since he was nothing but trouble, till now, a matured guy.

He's leaving for Aus tonight. Actually, i think he's plane has already taken off. So, i hope he'll stay that 'new' him, and not screw that up. Take care you.

Monday, June 13, 2005

English 101

All through out the weekend, there was one particular incident which has been on my mind. On friday, for my english tutorial class, we were required to give a one-minute speech, thus i did mine. And one thing my classmate said to me after that, left me speechless.

*After my one-minute speech.
clap clap..~
I sat down, and my classmate turned towards me and asked,
"ni kang cai na ge, shi jiang shen mo?"
"(what was your speech about?)"

It was then, that it dawned upon me that, i don't think my classmates understood what i said! Well, considering half is from some chinese high school, and the other half are fresh stpm graduates from out of town.

What a lecturer of mine said today was downright true, the biggest problem faced by Malaysian graduates are language barriers. We can be really good in the head, but what are we, if we do not have the gift of the gap too? Knowlegde and the ability to speak goes hand in hand. With knowledge but without the gap, how are you supposed to bring your point across? Same goes with, if you have the gap but without the knowledge, all that comes out from your mouth are worthless.

But thus said, does that mean that my mandarin speaking classmates are not good? And does that make me, an english literate, better? No way! There's no one way to tell which is a good way or not. But we have to move with times. If English language is important in times like today, then master it. Don't lose out.
I'm just lucky i was brought up with the language. ;p

Sunday, June 12, 2005

i am a-o-kay.

A huge thank you to all who've shown me concern in the last few days.
I'm alright now, and you guys deserve a pukey smile!! =} *grins*

I've just gotten my new keyboard, as the old one konked out and died on me. And now, I just can't stop typing.. lol. I like the sound of the keys as i press them. Very therapeutic. I like.. :)

I currently have researches that needs to be printed, and yet, the printers cannot be used. First, the one in my bro's room cannot be used because, it's his comp's turn to konk and the printer is connected to it. So access denied. Secondly, the one in my room which has been kept in the box the whole while, cannot be used, because no.1, daddy's not home to help me fix it up and no.2, the print stick thingy apparently doesn't print properly. It only prints the top halves of all the words. So, access partially denied. What-am-i-going-to-do?

Oh, remember the little boy of my aunt from chicago?

Cute huh! Check out the pooh blankie!

Guess what, dad came and did his magic, and now i have a printer to use!
*Yay!* for daddys! I love my daddy! (not just for this reason.)

Thursday, June 09, 2005

i'm sick..=(

In the last 35 hours, i've vomitted, almost blacked out due to dizzy spells, had fever, and my whole body ached like an old woman. So i practically slept the whole day of yesterday, couldn't even stand up properly, neither could i eat nor talk properly without feeling like throwing up. So in the end, i went to the doctor, and he told me i had food poisoning.

That occurred to me as something unbelievable though. Of all the times i ate uncooked food, without realizing of course, nothing happened to me. But in the last few days, everything i ate was, somewhat normal. So what poisoned me? Ahh, to hell with that already. It's been a while since i've been this sick. Nothing to celebrate about actually, but nothing beats the attention received. nyahah.. ;)

I'm feeling much better already today. Fever has subside, though i still feel dizzy. I've got mc for yesterday and today. But, i feel kinda bored staying at home, i guess i'd probably go for my lecture in the noon, learn something and pass time.. Hah, such an effective way to waste my mc. Oh well.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Food, Babies and Dumbasses

I love having dinners. Going out for dinners, or simply just eating a simple one at home. I just love that time of the day.

Steamboat, Chinese Seafood meal, Japanese buffet.. i am prolly capable of eating a whole cow now after all these. Passion=Food. Feed me and i'll be your friend. :)

My auntie from Chicago dropped by for a visit on Friday and Saturday. Her little bundle of joy is just adorable! Big brown eyes with long lashes, sugarcane-like limbs and an active character to boot. He's only five months old but weighs a tonne! Well, this is what happens if you feed your baby chocolates.

My classes got cancelled again today. The idiotic ptptn people just had to organize the meeting during lectures. Dumbass. Now i'll have to replace my free time with yet another replacement class. Dumbty dumb dumb.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

i believe in a thing called love

What actually defines love? This has been a question, probably up till now, no one has a clear answer to. What is it that makes a person comply to another person's needs and wants, out of this feeling the mass calls love? Is there a right and wrong way of loving? And if so, what is it, and how does it work?

I can say i have my fair share of loving and being loved. And each time, it feels different. It gets deeper, with more responsibility and expectations.

It disturbs me most of the time when someone takes love in a foolish way. But i know, my 'correct' way of loving may not be another person's cup of tea. And vice versa. Take the days of our grandparents for instance, they get arranged, get married, bear offsprings and the wives stay at home to manage their little house, and the husbands earn a living. Occasionally, the husband will buy a gift for the wife, have a little talk about the kids, nothing detail about the financials/social gossips whatsoever.

Do we still live like this? Do couples still have little talks? Well, 'older' people says that we 'kids' nowadays love wrongly. But does that mean that they are right? Times change. Relationships and the progression of love will too. Some may have different views about it and others too. But where is the line? Abuse? Infidelity?(some ppl are okay about open relationships) So where is the guideline?

Girl, i'm sorry if i was harsh in the things i said to you. I know the feeling you have for him is strong, but i just want you to know that, i have seen many of us fall for the wrong guy and suffer the consequences. You have a beautiful personality in you, and you have so much to offer, i don't want you to waste your energy and feelings on someone like him. You and i, and probably everyone knows what type of a person he is, all i'm asking is for you to love yourself. Stop allowing boys to take advantage of all the good things you have to offer.
I love you girl. For now, you take care. This goes to all my girls as well.

And tache, i'm proud of how you're handling things! You make us chialets proud. :)