::Life's Little Mystery::

life requires lots of love, and loving brings life

Saturday, November 29, 2003

YaYy!! Khai Yeing's back! I really miss that girl, good thing she'll be here till febuary. Once again, everybody in the group is here, i love that! Went bangsar again last night, there's some thing about that place that keeps drawing us there, maybe coz there's no covercharge or we've just gotten used to that place. hmm..
i feel so moodless, like there's no feeling in me. Why is that? I've been trying to figure it out too, but to no avail, maybe it's due to the lack of sleep or am just in dire need of some lovin'. =( .. Hey people, i need some lovin'! Gimme some lovin'!

Tomorrow's jen ai darlin's wedding dinner, what am i gonna wear? How i wish i could be like those professional dressing consultant, so i'll always know the right thing to wear for every occasion without worrying whether i would be overdressed or underdressed, and yet still look good. Dream on..
I just can't wait for it! =) I wanna see my girl all dressed up on her most important day looking like a princess, then a beautidul wife to her very lucky husband. I can't believe this is actually happening. We've always talked about who will be the one to be married first, dreaming about our dream guy then marrying them in our dream wedding. Now, my girl is living her fantasy. I'm soo happy for her! Her wedding pics are all so pretty! I wanna take wedding pics minus the getting married part, i just want the pics! hehe..
Ooh..i can't wait! =)

Thursday, November 27, 2003

Went to the tailor yesterday to get my prom dress made. I'm still a little unsure about the colour, am afraid that i'll turn out looking like a candy bar or worse a lollipop. Hmm..keeping my fingers so soo crossed that it'll turn out beautiful.

Staying at home has it's pros and cons. Firstly, i can save on loads of money, wear my comfortable pjs the whole day, sleep in late, catch up on tv shows, etc. Cons? I'm bored to death, miss seeing my girlfriends, starting to get nostalgic of school/classmates, miss my boy, miss shopping, miss dancing, miss drinking, etc. I guess the cons overpower the pros, is this some sort of a sign or what?
I've been calculatting my money to divide it properly so i won't overspent or underspent and still have some money left in the end. Kinda hard with the sales coming, but let's hope i can make it! =)

I spent my whole morning downloading songs and singing it at the top of my lungs, something i've not done in a long long while. You people should download 'atlanta-stone temple pilots', really nice and soothing. I'm addicted to the song. Hella good!

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, hApPy biRtHdAy to mE!!!! I'm finally 17. Argh..how slow is that? It's another long long year more to go until i'm of legal age. Oh well, at least i can get my license now.
I've received alot of birthday wishes, even mathew sang this crazy birthday song to me, lolx! Mad fella! But you know what? None of my family members wished me yet! I think they forgot all about it. *sniff**sniff* so sad yea?!! Oh well, nevermind, i'll just shop till my hearts content later to comfort myself. Splurge all their hard earn money like water!! hehe..i wish!
I spent my whole birthday morning cleaning out my book cupboard. It's squeeky clean now and i feel squeekly irritated. Urgh..what a way to spend my day. Anyhow, it's still 1 in the afternoon. Let's just hope that the rest of my day would be much much better.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

i feel useless, lonely .... so drifted..

My party last night couldn't exactly be considered a success as i think some of them were feeling kinda bored. Hey guys, i'm really sorry if last night was boring! NO more next time alritez! =) The pizzas i made were good! If i do say so myself. (with the help of my mum, of coz! ) It took quite a while to get the pizzas ready as there were alot of things to do before hand. We had to knit the flour, and roll it out. Most people that means lazy people like me would just roll out a big flat dough and put all the toppings on top and cut it out into small pieces. But no, my mom wanted me to roll out the dough and use this really cute-shaped cup to cut out the shapes, then put the toppings on top each and everyone of them one by one. Then, bake in the oven till it's half baked and then bake them again to serve so that it will still be hot and crunchy when it is served. I had become so sleepy after everything!

After the party, we headed down to the same club in bangsar again. It took us half and hour just to find parking there. My boy was really nice, eventhough i knew he didn't like the place, he still drove all the way there just to send me there and waited at the mamak for me then send me back. He's an angel!
While we were in the club, suddenly there was a raid and everyone who was underage had to get out of the club. So, we went to red chambers instead and had shishas (hope i spelled it correctly) and drinks. I was being a really good girl and didn't order anything alcoholic. *applause!* i had a fruit punch instead. Yea, you read correctly, fruit punch. Reached home at about 3 plus in the morn. And finally slept at bout 4 plus.
Hey darlins, thanks for the prezzies!! We should do this again more often yea, minus the raid! =p

Woke up at 11 plus this morn, by my boy's call. I dragged myself out of my bed, wash up as quickly as i could,grab some food on the table and headed out with petrina in my boy's car. Went for his band audition to give him support.=p Hope his group will get it. We went to ikea after that, this was my first time there, so i was practically like gawking at the place. Damn ulu! hehe.. With the heavenly meatballs and sausages, i'll definitely be visiting that place really often.

Friday, November 21, 2003

What a way to end the exams! Headed down to bangsar with lydia and gang last night, but first we went to 1u as some of them wanted to eat dinner there. The new wing is HUGe!! There are so many nice clothes! Another new place to shop. So after that, we went down bangsar, sat in some place called illusions and drank. The rest had beer, corona, kampai and so on, and i had sex on the beach. Really good drink! what were you thinking? *smirk!* =p We met Arwinjit and the whole group there, it was like, everybody is out!! After that, we went to this club called voyers i think..the music was good! We had a blast man..if only most of them stayed as liguan and a few others left even before we get to enjoy. There were sooo many cute matsallehs there!! Gosh, it was like a paradise of cute white boys. If only i could get my hands on them. haha..

I'm having a party tonight at my house. It's some sort of birthday cum freedom party. I'm hoping it'll be a blast and everyone will enjoy themselves. I hope weiluen's speakers can be used too..if not..fuck! Ey dia, wear your fishnets!! Then we can have some movie-montage thingy! Good idea eh?
Well, i got to go make the pizzas now, i'm seriously keeping my fingers crossed that it'll turn out alright and will be an enjoyable night for everyone.

All for now peeps! Enjoy!

Thursday, November 20, 2003

*WoohOo!!~* Freedom!! The nightmare's all over! I am so relieved that it's all over, i could feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders, and am able to breathe properly again. Mixed feelings are clouding my emotions, coz i know that, once i walk out of the school gates, i'm not a part of that school anymore. I'm soo gonna miss my school life! Like talking cocks and making noise in class, having pointless chats with teachers, listening to eugene and li guans 'debate', eating with girlfriends in the canteen, wondering around school feeling at home, wearing the uniform and so many more. Yea u read me right, i'll miss wearing my uniform. It's been a part of my life for soo long, i've somehow grown to like it. I'm sure most of you would feel exactly the same as i do. Life is not going to be the same again, that's the way it is, though how much i wish it'll still be. We've got to move on to another phase of life, to learn and experiance new things, meet new people, and yet i know that i'll always remember my days in school. Although it's soon going to be a past, a history for me, it will always remain a happy memory for me, a wonderful one!

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

I actually came online to open a chatroom with my friends so that i am able to chat with them since i've not seen them in what seems like a long long time to me, only to find out that my icq has no such service. How f*ckin downer is that? So, i decided to come blog instead.

I had found out that my boy is making a teddy bear for me for my birthday. Just last week i had merely stated that i liked bears with curly short furs like the ones in Russ, and he took it into his own hands and decided to make one for me. haha..sweet leh? Can't wait to see how it turns out! Exciting nya.. =p Ooh..just another 24hours more to go till everything that has to do with chemistry can be flushed out of my brains! oh yea.. haha..i wonder what's lydia and the rest who dropped chem are doing right now? Enjoying their freedom to the fullest i bet!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Quick update for today..

Had physics paper today and it was a major killer! Could be due to the fact that i had not studied for it. hmm.. I was mainly just shooting my way through it, testing my luck. The 2nd paper was the best! I didn't know a single question, well, maybe one or two, so naturally, i did what i do best, crap! The whole freakin' paper was full of nonsensical stuffs! *phwoar!* power eh! hehe..Let's just hope lady luck was on my side at that time. Anyhow, i don't give two freakin shits about it. It's over! One more day to go and i'll claim my independance! Wish me all the luck! Coz that's all i need..

*adios amigos~*

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Wasn't in the mood to study today, so i tried out this really silly website, triggur.org/names .. really stupid!
It's this,

My Name ~
Sue Lynn - From the Irish root meaning "Crooked". (what the?)

Sue Lynn is a stinking kleptomaniac.(a person with irresistable wish to steal, not necessarily from poverty)

Sue Lynn should be monitored around small animals.

Sue Lynn likes animals-- perhaps too much.

Sue Lynn is deceptively warm and endearing.

Sue Lynn is sexually aroused by everything-- including lawn furniture.

Sue Lynn has a problem with body odor.

Sue Lynn can be apathetic to a fault. (shows absence of sympathy or interest to a fault)

Sue Lynn has an oedipal complex. ( this is crazy! it can't be! I love both my parents just as much! )

-so if you're as bored and crooked as i am, try this site out and have a laugh at your name! =)

Friday, November 14, 2003

Three more subjects and seven more papers to go till i'm officially liberated! hmm..let's see what i'm gonna do first? Get sleep, loads of sleep. I've been deprived of sleep since the very first day i stepped into school. So now that i'm leaving school, what's more relevant than to catch up on years of beauty sleep? lolz! Or maybe i'll just keep on adding to the fund of not-enough-sleep by going out and not sleeping. That'll be fun! Ooohh..i can't wait!

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

The feeling of talking to someone you have not talk to in a while is undescribable. It makes you reevaluate your whole friendship with them, and appreciate them more. Funny how relationships with friends can go as long as a month or two without talking and you are still able to catch up and yak like crazy, as if that whole month or two never happened. Where else for that special relationship, if u go a month or two without talking, you'll think that something is seriously wrong and you'll start worrying, for fear that the distance between the both of you will ruin the relationship. With friends, you'll always have the assurance that, they will always be there for you no matter what. That's the beauty of friendships!!
[*Friends are the priceless treasures and gems that can't be stolen.*]

Simply Beautiful!

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

What is love? Is it the fluttering butterflies you get in your tummy when you see that certain someone? Is it the dizziness of joy you get when he's near you? Or is it the feeling of calmness and security when you know that he is around? What exactly is love? There has never been a proper definition for it. Different people have different views of their own when it comes to lurve. For me, it has brought different meanings and definitions through out the years, it just keeps changing and changing. At first love for me was just having endless phone conversations with that special someone, thinking that his voice was the only voice i want to hear for all of time. But as time passes, it grew to another phase. Love now, is all about trusting and understanding, and not about the phone conversations and the material stuff. It's not about physical closeness but spiritually. Soul-to-soul and not body-to-body. I think that's more important. Physical beauty is just temporary, but inner beauty lasts a lifetime. (so long as no one corrupts it). Everybody goes through different phases of love. But your first love is the one you'll remember for life. For those of you whose other half is your first love, treasure it. It will be a bitter-sweet memory in the end. (not like i'm saying it wont last, but at this age, if it does, my salutations to you!) =)

I fixed my eyes upon the pit
And vowed to stay away.
And yet the blackness called to me,
From where I wish to stay.

They say love's one man's folly
And another's key to fame.
But love was not an issue,
I hated the crying games.

Still, I wandered toward the pit,
It held a strange allure.
It proved a plave of mystery
I'd never been before.

Up to the edge I crept,
Looking into the abyss.
Though I knew not what awaited me,
This chance I could not miss.

I lived a sheltered, quiet life;
I longed to risk it all.
I took one more step forward,
'Twas there I took the fall.

I tried to grab onto the edge,
Regretting my new fate.
Instead I kept on falling;
My efforts were in vain.

Although I landed softly,
I sensed a bruise or scar.
But those were often made
In matters of the heart.

However, doubt consumed my mind,
"Would he be like the last?"
Until at length I felt a touch,
It swept the doubt I'd cast.

His strong hands pulled me close to him.
As one, we climbed above.
I realized I had fallen safe
Into the arms of love.

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Quite alot of stuff has happened since the last time i blogged. Not exactly alot but yea, stuff did happen. Went to San Fransisco Steak House last night to celebrate my brother's birthday. Parents ordered lobsters and escargos. It was a very enjoyable meal. In the middle of the night, long after we've reached home and retreated to our respected beds, i suddenly had an allergy or some sort of an attack. I felt like a million heavy stuff was surpressing my chest and lungs. I couldn't breathe! Really terrifying!!!! I got up, walked towards my dressing table and took out my trustee puff. Had three puffs and immediately I could feel my lungs expending. I was able to breathe properly again! This is the ever faithful puff that had never failed to save my life so many times!

I woke up this morning and saw a message on my phone from him. He told me his parents are gonna get a divorce. What am i suppose to say? I feel so helpless. I told him i won't pretend that i know what he's going through, coz i don't. And i know there's nothing i can say to make him feel better. So I told him to be strong and to know that i'm always here for him. I really don't know what else can i say. It's like, you won't know how it feels like till you're going through it yourself. Sigh, I guess i just have to do whatever it takes to lighten this burden and sadness of his. It won't be easy, but i'll try. If lydia can go through it with her guy. I can too.. My inspiration..hehe.. thanks girl! I just hope everything will turn out alright.

Friday, November 07, 2003

i just can't seen to concentrate on my studies, i don't have the exam jitters which makes it even worst. I'm not worried bout it at all. Well, maybe a little. But that little bit will not be able to help me concentrate on what i'm studying! Sigh, what's with exams anyway? It's not like the subjects we're taking are of much use in the future. Most of the subjects aren't even relevent! Take BM literature for example, why do we have to study and remember the stories and poems and all that? What do we get out of it? Just a bunch of stories and poems. So what? Maybe they thought we'd have more bedtime stories to tell our children or grandchildren. Madness! Who knows?! They should teach us the language and not all these nonsensical things. Reading the literature and history book constantly is equivalent to having daily doses of sleeping pills. It's bad for health!! I wouldn't mind doing language, really! coz it's useful! But all these literature stuff is seriously purely a waste of precious time. Sial! History too! Why do we need to remember the past? All we have to do is just know it! Everywhere, magazines, newspapers, problem columns, tells people that they need to look towards the future and not the past. And that is whats happening! Why do i care about who invented this and that, or who fought for this and that and how civilization came about. All i wanna do is enjoy the greatness of the technology today! What they should really do is teach us how to make full use of it. Let's take a car for instance, u just want to enjoy the beauty and power of your car and not know how it is made, painted and so on. SIAL!
Sigh, i'm crapping too much! 2 weeks to go..untill then, i'll remain constantly insane! This is killing me! 2 more weeks 2 more weeks! argh.. i'm running out of things to write and i still don't wanna go. If i go, i'll have to take my dose of sleeping pill, i don't wanna sleep yet! Damn! whatever!

Just got my new blog today.This is fun! I should actually be studying right now, but oh well, my lazy side won again. Anyhow, i should better get back to my studies. Till next time!