the things i miss..

- our routined friday night outings
- hunting for food to fulfill our shared love
- watching movies during the weekends
- cuddle time
- watching dvds on your couch
- cooking together - you cooking for me
- your sayang-ing
- talking about everything on your swing after dinners
- roaming the malls hand in hand with you constantly trying to steer me away from shops
- knowing that you are just 5km away
- you picking me up for outings
- you serenating me with your songs
- the smell of your perfume
- that pair of big eyes that could see right through me
- dimples when you smile at me

this list is neverending. I wonder when will this routine resume?

I am starting to have difficulties breathing again, this is where i know that i am under alot of stress. Oxygen is not going into my lungs fully, like it's blocked by a piece of something in my esofagus.

I am bogged by so many things that i am trying very hard not to think about.. just yet. Trips, resume, potential jobs, masters programme, life, love, family, future.

All these can wait.

Hopefully it will still remain rosy dandy when it all ends.

The War

...starts now!

this is the first time i am feeling so unprepared and yet so chilled a few hours before my paper commences.

what the f is wrong with me?

Happyfied

Omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg....

i'm going to get my Coach bag on Saturday!

Weeeeee!

So happy.. i damn suke that bag.

:)

Im just too hyper to be studying wey..

Need glasses?

Received this in an email today and i think it's pretty good and funny.
Since sharing is caring, here it is.

hehehe.. girls, better get your eyes checked!

Favourite quote for the day

taken from a conversation between Taylor and Summer from The OC

Taylor: Summer, getting a man is like capturing a wily silver back gorilla in the Ugandan highlands. You see, nature is telling that gorilla to stay in the wild, but both you an I know that that gorilla would be much happier back in the zoo on a normal feeding schedule. But sometimes he’s just gotta roar and beat his chest before he'll let you shoot him with a tranq dart.

...LOL!

too good.

emo sial!

Yesterday i attended the last two classes i would ever have as an undergrad in utar. And after handing up my final year project on tuesday, and sitting for four papers till 6 May, i will be officially done with this factory building i call my education home for 3 years. 3 f-ing years, with the same lecture halls, first floor with the coldest temperature in the entire building, blue carpets, plastic tables and chairs, same coursemates, tutorialmates, groupmates, breaks at the cafeteria and mamak, all the conflicts and dramas..

..is coming to an end.

I was feeling particularly low the past week. It was a mixture of reasons, one being in denial. Leaving the comforts of all i had in this 3 years and moving ahead towards uncertainty- work, postgrad studies, etc. Moreover, it is the thought of not being able to waste precious lecture hours doing nothing producting and talking away at the back of lecture halls with all of you.. hehe. i will definitely miss our belum-insaf moments. :)

There are so many things i want to say, but i just cant seem to express them. Leaving me with the only words of, 'ahh.. so emo!' hehe. During that 3 years, new friends were made, some friends were kept for good and some lost along the way. Nonetheless, i just want to tell each and everyone of you whom i have had the fortune to cross paths with- thank you and i appreciate and value our time and experiences shared together.

PX- omg, i dunno what my uni days would be like without you. Seriously! You kept me sane by listening patiently to all my furious complaints and uplifted my spirits during stress out moments by just talking cock together. Most importantly, you and fei introduced me to so many new realms of lameness, im afraid normalcy may prove hard to come back. haha. all the 'cold' jokes...

It will take more than this post for me to fully express my feelings at this ending of a chapter, so i won't go anymore than this. Just that i hope all who knew and know me have enjoyed my presence as much as i have enjoyed theirs. And also, all the best and study hard for this last leg of our race before we move on to another type of rat race. Which we may not like as much.. eek!

when will we reach the stars?

I was reading this girl's blog about how she feels when her significant other puts more time and effort into work for the 'better future' and how she feels neglected.. i dunno man, i kind of felt that i could relate to what she was writing. Not wholly, but parts of me.

There were times when i would wonder to myself before i drift off to surprising places, that would it be worth it to prioritize success over loved ones? Would that success be worth it in the end? I know i've ponder and asked about this topic for a long time.. i never seem to have a resolute answer.

I know of guys who would put off the whole marriage idea with their girlfriends just because they have not achieved in their career successfully. What sort of success, i do not know. Maybe their first million? This is my question to all guys, why can't you share this journey with your significant other? Why must it be one or the other? Success or marriage (example only, could be just plain ol love) ?

It's just boils down to the male masochistic thoughts aint it? The one where their cavemen instincts kick into high gear- go out to hunt to feed their wife and kids, and never expecting their wives to do the same.

The bf used to constantly plan for the future. Good life, comfortable home, nice cars, clothes, etc. But he forgets about the present. What can we do together now with whatever little means we have. And i used to get really frustrated because i felt neglected. It wasn't that he didn't shower me with love or gave me attention, rather it was just that i didn't really care about what will happen in the future, sure i want those nice things, but it is not everything you know. I wanted us to be able to enjoy each other here and now. The future is vague, we can work so hard but the future will always stay as a future if we do not appreciate the present. What we have presently is what will bring us to the future.

This is so melodramatic. I am so melodramatic.

I dunno man, i'm just so tired of waiting for the future.